By John Chen–
“I could no longer bear to be where I was, surrounded by motivated, high-achieving students of the rich and famous who didn’t need me, oppressed by religious values and beliefs that condemned me, and shamed into living a life of lies pretending to be happy. I came out [of the closet] on March 14, 2015, a special day because I love math and am a math teacher, and Pi to four decimal places is 3.1415. There was no planning for this. It was completely random. And a couple of years that followed, I came out to San Francisco to teach math and coach soccer to English Learners and housing and food insecure adolescents that gave me a true sense of purpose and happiness.”
—Matthew Shea
Matthew Shea grew up in Hanover, Massachusetts, about 35 minutes south of Boston. Shea was a soccer star with a successful competitive playing career short of being a professional. In high school, Shea led his team to their first ever undefeated season. At Boston University, Shea started every game on a nationally ranked team as a true freshman. In 2012, he won the United States Adult Soccer Association (USASA) National Amateur National Title with the (Boston) Battery Park Gunners. In San Francisco, Shea won multiple IPlayForSF premier division titles with the SF Spikes Soccer Club, a queer community-driven nonprofit soccer club.
All photos courtesy of John Chen
Despite his passion and success in soccer, Shea never set his sights on playing professionally because soccer had become toxic. Shea explained, “I grew up in a very white, conservative, and homophobic environment. An out athlete was nonexistent. As a wide-eyed freshman, during one of our first high school practices, one of the upperclassmen used these unforgettable, exact, threatening words, ‘If we find out that you are gay, we’ll f-ing kill you.’ From that moment on, I found myself in 100% survival mode.”
Shea continued, “At Boston University, I endured much more homophobia than I could have imagined. I will never forget that one fateful day during my freshman season. In the head coach’s office, the assistant coach without so much as blinking an eye, aggressively, angrily, and purposefully asked me and a teammate if we were gay. Feeling trapped, scared, and intimidated, I blurted out the only self-preserving response, an empathetic ‘No!’ The coach recoiled and said, ‘Good! I just wanted to make sure!’ That moment broke me, confirming that the athletic world I loved so much did not love me back. The shame I felt compounded in the years to come, as I did everything I could to hide my true identity.”
Despite these major setbacks, Shea also had strong positive influences that energized him with a sense of purpose and focus. Shea recalled fondly, “In high school, I looked up to my honors precalculus teacher, Matthew Plummer, who was also my varsity soccer coach. Mr. Plummer or Coach Plummer brought energy, life, and smiles into the classroom and onto the field. He taught me, coached me, challenged me, and inspired me, making a big difference in my personal, academic, and athletic growth. I wanted to be just like him, a teacher pushing and exploring the limitless intellectual potentials of young minds, and a coach, nurturing the growth, skills, and competitive edge of budding athletes.”
“After college, I pursued a teaching and coaching career and landed at an elite New England boarding school, Cushing Academy, where I was a dorm parent (Faculty Resident Assistant) to Cyndi Lauper’s (no intro needed) son, conducted a parent-teacher meeting with Harvey Weinstein (disgraced Hollywood mogul), and coached two of Chris Mullin’s (Golden State Warrior legend and NBA Basketball Hall of Famer) sons.”
Shea paused for a moment and shared a poignant, but slightly embarrassing, mishap at the academy, “My first graduation gift from a student was a Hermes tie. Unfamiliar with the brand, I pronounced it like the Greek God and was promptly corrected.”
After a quick chuckle, Shea shared more on his time at Cushing. “Despite working with many respectful, intelligent, talented, and hardworking students, the wealth and privilege was clearly there. Not a bad thing, just a reality. For this very reason, I sometimes felt that my students and soccer players did not need me to succeed. And more importantly, I did not necessarily feel safe if I wanted to come out. I realized something had to change if I wanted to be happy, be my true self, and grow as a person and a professional. Is there a place where I can safely begin my journey as a gay man, where I wouldn’t feel ashamed, where I wouldn’t have to worry, and where I can motivate and inspire young people to not just become who they are but become who they can?”
Shea answered his own questions with a genuine smile: “That place is San Francisco. When Mission High School offered me a teaching position, I jumped at the opportunity. I understood the transition would present a great challenge, but I relished the chance and the high rewards of teaching in an extremely diverse community. Suddenly, many of my students were financially, housing, and food insecure with backgrounds rooted in various tradition-rich cultures that I am unfamiliar with. Many of them also didn’t receive much proper support at home.”
Shea enlightened me with few major reality checks of going from the rich, the powerful, and the privileged to a community of families struggling to make ends meet, and of people whose views and perspectives vastly differ from his own. “As a white man working in a very non-white school, it was hard for me to connect with my students in the beginning. Classroom management was a big struggle for me. My interactions were different, and a lack of awareness of my students’ struggles and experiences made it difficult for me to be more understanding in moments of poor behavior or acting out. It took a lot of work, patience, and willingness to get to know my students, unlearn many of my personal biases, and earn respect. My work is hard. But I love it because I love teaching and coaching, and most of all, I love my students.”
Life in San Francisco as a gay man, an athlete, a teacher, and a coach has rewarded Shea handsomely with tremendous interpersonal and cross-cultural growth, community love and acceptance, and professional respect and satisfaction. But life in San Francisco is also extremely costly, and unfortunately, San Francisco Unified School District (SFUSD) did not have the resources to properly and adequately support its hard-working teachers. Shea made the difficult decision to leave Mission High School and take a teaching and coaching position further south at San Mateo High School.
San Mateo High School presented Shea with a whole new set of challenges. Responsible mainly for teaching algebra to EL (English Learner) students and coaching the ELD (English Language Development) soccer team, the language barrier created a plethora of communication issues and sometimes humorous calamities. Shea explained, “About 90% of my students were Spanish speakers from Central America, mainly Guatemala and El Salvador, who also come from housing and food insecure families. The language barrier coupled with financial instability, as well as interrupted learning in their home countries, resulted in both lower academy skills and math foundation.”
“Over the past five years, I have learned so much from my students, first and foremost, my Spanish improved dramatically,” he said. “My better understanding of various Latin cultures has allowed me to develop a deeper appreciation and love for my students. They have overcome so much to thrive in a new country. They have persevered to be academically strong. And they have adapted to become an integral part of the community. Seeing them improve, grow, and achieve every day, little by little, has been the most rewarding and meaningful experience I have ever been a part of. My life now has purpose and I love walking into the classroom every day, just like Mr. Plummer. I can’t imagine being anywhere else.”
Shea’s success with his students comes from his tireless dedication and relentless efforts to improve to be the best teacher and coach. His journey has taught him that “teaching and coaching are very similar.” Shea expanded his point. “While structure and a plan are necessary for every class and practice, most of the gains come from giving students space to grow and holding meaningful conversations and interventions when needed. Connection is everything. Without building trust and respect, no learning can happen. For example, at school, I am an openly gay teacher and coach. Although my sexuality is a nonissue most of the time, I still occasionally hear homophobic remarks in the hallways and classrooms. I make a point not just to stop such hurtful language, but to have an open dialogue so that the students can learn to respect our differences. In this way, I am able to prioritize developing confident, independent, and thoughtful young men and women who are good at math, good at soccer, and (who can) be the best they can be.”
At the end of the day, Shea goes home tired and happy that he is making a difference in these young people’s lives. When he wakes up in the morning, Shea is excited to get the day started, eager to see his students. Shea shared his goals as a teacher and as a coach. “I want to continue to give access and provide both a positive and inclusive environment for my students and players to learn and grow into the best version of themselves. I want them to feel seen and appreciated, and that they have a place here and are valued as part of our diverse community. Finally, if I can be a positive influence and help even just one closeted athlete to feel comfortable and proud, I will have done my job. I would never want any student at our school to feel as hopeless as I did as a teenager.”
John Chen, a UCLA alumnus and an avid sports fan, has competed as well as coached tennis, volleyball, softball, and football teams.
Sports
Published on August 8, 2024
The post Soccer Ace Who Experienced Homophobia Mentors Youths and Strives for Equality in Sports appeared first on San Francisco Bay Times.